JLS condoms and Top 10 weird celebrity merchandise – Robert Pattinson pants, anyone?

10Sep10

With the news that JLS are considering launching their own range of condoms, we thought we’d show you some of the more bizarre examples of other stars expanding their brand in ever curious ways.

Once we’d thrown out our Miley Cyrus ‘My Life Would Suck Without You’ lolly and Kylie Minogue ‘Spinning Around lamp’ due to the fact they were promotional freebies, we instead looked at the increasing canny ways in which celebs try and increase their profiles.

After all, once you’ve gone down the more pedestrian routes of selling your music, posters, books and suchlike, how else do you encourage your fans to keep giving you love?

1. The Kanye West internet search engine – called, catchily enough, Search With Kanye, which sounds like a rather serious and disturbing kids’ programme. Yes, ditch the likes of Yahoo and Google and you too can help fill the original Golddigga’s pockets but earn points every time you click to earn money off, er, more Kanye merchandise…

2. Jonathan Ross may long have usurped Barry Norman’s TV hotseat since Film 1998, but one thing Wossy will never have over the veteran broadcaster and film critic is his own range of pickled onions.

Yes, Mr ‘And Why Not?’ Norman has his own range of vinagery alliums, called Barry Norman’s Pickleodeon Pickled Onions, widely regarded as the strongest around.

3. Talking of savoury snacks, the next celeb endorsement isn’t that bad, just a source of terrible puns. Harry Hill has his own range of Fairtrade cashew and peanuts – ideal for producing your own TV burps.

4. Terrible combovers are not normally associated with choice cuts of meat – but the presenter of the US version of The Apprentice, Donald Trump, claims to market the best steaks not just in the States, but in the entire world. A rare claim indeed.

5. Some people would rather die than go without their favourite face-paint-wearing, poodle-haired, long-toungued rockers Kiss.

Now, they can be forever entwined with Gene Simmons and co in their very own band-branded coffin, or the Kiss Kasket, if you will.

6. Everyone’s favourite unintentionally hilarious action movie star Steven Segal reveals where he gets his energy from to kill those baddies time and time again. Yes, he’s got his own Lightning Bolt energy drink!

7. Short of dosh but still want to live a bling lifestyle? Yeah? Yeah! Well, in the very words of R&B/hip hop star Usher, you can settle up with his super-smooth credit card. You Make Me Wanna spend money!

8. Sadly not available to buy yet, but Twilight fans will soon be able to keep their tushes covered with Robert Pattinson panties. Edward Cullen grundies? Fangs for that.

9. The Bill Wyman metal detector. For years, the former Rolling Stone was subject to golddiggers, now he’s unearthing buried treasure himself with help from his trademark Bill Wyman Signature Metal Detector. Let’s hope he avoids Sticky Fingers on those muddy digs, etc.

http://www.billwymandetector.com/

Finally…

10. And finally, Sir Cliff Richard loves Mistletoe and Wine he makes his own. Plonk, that is. Yes, the clean living, legendary singer’s youthful good looks are not just courtesy of tennis, but down to his very ownVida Nova vino. Who’d have thunk it? And apparently, it doesn’t actually taste terrible either and has won a few international awards. We’ll drink to that…and pay for it all on our Usher credit card.

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